tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112235.post2557651210215924987..comments2023-09-22T10:27:08.895-07:00Comments on Life As I Know It: Mmmm donuts!HistoryGeekhttp://www.blogger.com/profile/02670515936852776370noreply@blogger.comBlogger6125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112235.post-11434508641096302122007-05-30T13:09:00.000-07:002007-05-30T13:09:00.000-07:00Thanks. Now I have a donut craving, with no donut...Thanks. Now I have a donut craving, with no donuts in sight! *G*<BR/><BR/>It seems to be a cultural thing as well. Er, disdain for fat people, not donuts. Although those might be as well.<BR/><BR/>Anyway...<BR/><BR/>In many cultures, skinny women are considered ugly; fat women are the real beauties. I have found this to be especially true of South Americans, who are notoriously religious, usually Catholics. The thought of "gluttony" doesn't seem to bother them much.<BR/><BR/>But here, in the U.S., I think you may be onto something. There's the bible doctrines which you mentioned. I think a lot of people also see it as a lack of self-control, a quality also despised in our culture and often ascribed inappropriately. As in this case.<BR/><BR/>Whatever the case, I think you're beautiful. I hope you do, too.Aravishttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07766002202567429153noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112235.post-53619207153827734212007-05-30T08:44:00.000-07:002007-05-30T08:44:00.000-07:00Hi Hammer! It's good to see you again. I agree. ...Hi Hammer! It's good to see you again. I agree. I think that we really fuck ourselves up because we have unrealistic ideas about what bodies should look like when really every body is different.HistoryGeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02670515936852776370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112235.post-2311019633238055252007-05-30T08:42:00.000-07:002007-05-30T08:42:00.000-07:00Hyde - I don't think that self-acceptance is simpl...Hyde - I don't think that self-acceptance is simple, neither is choice. I think that both are the most challenging battles we can face as human beings (hell, I've been in therapy for years continuing to work on my own). But I really do believe that our ability (or inability) to have compassion for our own "flaws" and learn to accept who we are is the road to overcoming our fears and hatred of other people.<BR/><BR/>I think what I was trying to say about Sister's friend is that it saddens me that there are so few places in this world that she can get affirmation for who she is. This can make self-acceptance nigh to impossible, and I don't blame her for "being tired" (as she wrote to Sister). I certainly think that a major depressive episode is much more complicated to deal with than just saying, "accept yourself." But that is the process that I work toward, both within myself and within my clients. <BR/><BR/>Cody - I agree!HistoryGeekhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02670515936852776370noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112235.post-1774565206056134882007-05-30T08:22:00.000-07:002007-05-30T08:22:00.000-07:00I would add to this discussion that even thinner w...I would add to this discussion that even thinner women experience these similar guilt issues about food.Jessicahttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05785325339726831634noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112235.post-53753177235102813812007-05-30T04:31:00.000-07:002007-05-30T04:31:00.000-07:00I refuse to live in a society where anything relat...I refuse to live in a society where anything relating to dounuts is wrong.Cody Boneshttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12743998050700202712noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-10112235.post-76239299748310296012007-05-29T20:28:00.000-07:002007-05-29T20:28:00.000-07:00I agree with most of what you say here. But I thi...I agree with most of what you say here. But I think that you are simplifying things if you portray "self-acceptance" as a "choice." <BR/><BR/>I've gone through periods in my life where I've acted like I've had self-acceptance, but haven't really been able to achieve it. That sort of "false" self-acceptance could never quite compensate for the fact that I didn't feel "socially" accepted. "Self-acceptance," as such, can be self-delusion masquerading as mental health. In the case of weight, this might lead to denial of the real health problems that can accompany weight gain. <BR/><BR/>I don't think that anyone should be judged for their size. I don't think it's a moral issue. But people do judge. And it takes an INCREDIBLY strong individual to resist that judgment. I wish that I could read your suggestion of "self-acceptance" and see a real solution. But, in a way, you're still putting the responsibility on people like Sister's friend to somehow manage to "just accept herself," the same way others expect overweight people who have repeatedly failed at dieting to "just lose weight." In fact, many probably see that as a failure in self-respect as well. <BR/><BR/>I feel like this comment got insanely long. What I'm trying to say is that asking a fat person to just eat the donut (or muffin) on the street without fear is like asking a fat person to just lose 20 lbs. Both are tremendously difficult. Those who are not socially acceptable are doomed to suffer... whether or not it's fair.<BR/><BR/>love,<BR/>hHydehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/05361348356625074872noreply@blogger.com