Wednesday, September 28, 2005

"All you gotta do is scratch beneath the surface and it's fool's gold"

There have been a lot of different themes running through my brain lately. One is that I've been craving simplicity. I read Lava Lady's blog, and I have craving to be able to bake things to share with the people that I love...to have someone make me breakfast...to have an evening at home just curled up on the couch watching a movie with someone I care about next to me.

I recognize that some of this is the old I-want-a-partner feeling, but I remember fondly the years that I lived in intentional community, or had multiple roommates. Just the simple joy of having someone to talk about your day with when you get home.

I remember the last large house that I lived in in DC. There was a lot of conflict and chaos in that house, but I also have some of the fondest memories of my life in DC from there. There was the adventure of watching the summer Olympics on a television without sound (we would frequently turn on the classic radio station to accompany it). Having parties and dancing in the living room. Laughing over the latest candidate for roommate (there seemed to be a revolving door and we were always interviewing for new housemates).

Maybe that doesn't sound simple, but we ate a lot together. We were always together in some way. Evenings we might just sit out on the porch and smoke (until I quit that year, anyway).

That's what I miss. I schedule appointments to see my friends these days and I guess that I just want to not have to schedule appointments with someone. I want to be able to have regular contact with someone.

Reading over this post, I'm struck with how it is that I equate simplicity with companionship. Maybe because I work so hard to fill up my life with things and activities to fend off loneliness. I guess today, it's just not working.

11 comments:

the urban fox said...

I think this is a very widely-held sentiment indeed. Have a huge hug.

LavaLady said...

Definitely a widely-held sentiment. I've spent a long time trying to get to a place where I felt companioned. Even married I never had the feeling you mention, the one I had when I lived with one of my best friends and we just got along and made a house together. I fantasize about having Palmer around at the end of each day, but I don't think that will happen anytime soon, if ever. What you say about simplicity makes perfect sense - I'm still constantly frustrated by how difficult it is to get together with friends (they are so much busier than I, but I have kids to wrangle).

SwissToni said...

so do we get to meet you when you come over to the UK then? That way we can give you huge hugs in person (although being British, that will be totally out of the question as our natural reserve kicks in, and you'll struggle to get more than a conversation about the weather out of us)

ST

spinsterwitch said...

ST - that's the plan...

Gladys Cortez said...

Okay, so you move to Chicago, I'll kick out the boy, and we'll decorate the crap out of the Catastrophe and bake cookies till all hours. How does that sound???

spinsterwitch said...

aeWoohoo...that idea rocks, Gladys!

P'tit-Loup said...

I echoe lavalady's sentiment that even in the companie of others, I sometimes feel alone. I also have bouts when the hubby is not working much when I long to have the house to myself.

A big hug to you from down here, and you can always come and crash for a week-end. Or maybe I could come up too!.

Matt said...

The best friendships are often effortless.

beedragon said...

I hear you about the scheduling thing. It is not the same as just having people around. It takes much more effort, and isn't always as casual as hanging w/someone who is always around. Since the time is limited, I think there is more pressure to be 'on'. I generally prefer to be on 'standby'.

Lord Bargain said...

I find myself ever increasingly seeing women and thinking "They sound nice, I bet they'd be good company whilst watching telly at home" rather than "she is fit, I want to sleep with her".

Is that age, or a sea change in priority?

Charby said...

I miss simplicity too, I miss being able to chill on the coach watching daytime telly with my friends and midnight runs to the pizzaplace more than anything else in Derby.
Although there's always people in and out of my house, its hectic and there's no-one really to just chill out with and I miss that.