Something doesn't quite smell right

I want health care reform to pass. I really do. I think keeping the same system in place makes about the same sense as city planners returning to medieval ways of letting cities grow - all cobbled together without a broader sense of a plan.

I really want healthcare to be universal, and I acknowledge that there will be a greater burden on some than others when paying for this. It is my belief that people should be asked to pay commensurate with their income. I'm a socialist that way, I'll admit.

I do not, however, believe that a disproportionate burden for healthcare costs should be shifted to any particular group based on "healthy lifestyles." This is, I think, a red herring that makes people feel self-righteous, but is a horribly slippery slope.

I'm fat, so I am biased in this. I would, under the current version of the reform bill under consideration by the Senate, be required to pay more than thinner people who get the same insurance I do. I have a job, and I can afford to do this. In fact, because I have a job, I don't mind paying a bit more for my healthcare. It's that important to me to have everyone insured.

But by asking all people who live "unhealthy lifestyles" to pay more for health premiums, we begin to head in the direction of system that penalizes people who do not have societal access to what's considered "healthy." How do you tell a woman who is holding down two jobs to support her children that she needs to head to the gym or go for a walk when she can't afford gym membership or her neighborhood is not safe...even if she had the time and energy to do these things? How do we justify penalizing a family that lives in a neighborhood without access to healthy food choices (i.e. safe neighborhood grocery stores with affordable fresh produce).

Even the underlying assumption feels offensive to me. The idea behind this part of the debate is that we want to keep costs low, so we need to penalize those groups we think can do something about their potential for health related problems because they might cost more. It is easy for people to believe that this will only affect people who are fat or who smoke, but it opens the door for invasion into other habits as well. People who have unprotected sex open themselves to STDs and pregnancies. Those who engage in high-injury sports (including football, hockey, soccer) open themselves up to orthopedic injuries and the possibility of early onset dementia from head trauma. Where will we draw the line? Who gets to decide.

The reality is that most of the rising costs of healthcare have to do with the aging of our population. The older you get, the more you need healthcare. The greater burden you become on the system. Perhaps we should start trying to determine who is going to live the longest and charge them more now, on the off chance that they will live to 95?

We need healthcare for all people, but we need to think about the way that we are organizing the provision of it with an eye to long term consequences.

Lights out!

PG&E turned the lights off at my work today. It's for maintenance on a transformer that feeds our building...but mid-day power outages for dialysis clinics are not really a great idea.

Anywho, I got a chunk of time off to go home and do some more cleaning. I'm having a Passion Party on Friday (sort of a tupperware party for sex toys and spa products). It's going to be small, but I'm looking forward to it.

It feels good to look forward to something.

Oh, hi there!

So I survived the thrush and eventually shook the sinus infection. I performed in my concert at the beginning of October and then a couple of weeks later, went to MN to visit my parents and do some additional ancestry research. It was a lovely trip.

And I'm back to my regular routine. I spend my time avoiding difficult things (like washing dishes and doing laundry), and wishing I were independently wealthy. I also work hard not to get glutened, which is getting less and less.

I have been experiencing some SAD this fall. I don't get out in the sun enough...and truthfully, I don't get enough sleep. So I've been more tearful and things seem less "bright." I don't know what to do about that right now. I'm trying to get more sun and some exercise now and then, which also helps with better mood.

I sometimes think that taking care of me is a full-time job....shouldn't we be getting paid for this? People who have kids should be paid much more than they are.

I just finished my open enrollment for insurance, at work. I have to admit feeling frustrated and angry. The choices are lacking a certain something...mostly accessibility. Isn't health insurance through an employer supposed to be financially feasible - so we don't have to decide whether we can afford medication or doctor's visits when we are sick? Not so much anymore.

Bah!

So here's what I am grateful for in the midst of all of this: My co-worker, Sonya, with a bit of a sarcastic edge. My partner. That the earth's core isn't heating up and thus sparing me from having to choose to stay and watch the Golden Gate tumble into the ocean or driving to Yellowstone to watch it blow up (I'm pretty sure I'd choose the latter). That I have a private practice that I love. Ghost Hunters - even though I'm pretty sure they are faking some of the "evidence."

I'm still alive

I've been keeping busy, lately, with the choir concert coming up.

I have made some personal commitments to support my health which I've been somewhat spotty in keeping. However, I did cook at home tonight...and spent some time doing laundry. I've been doing a little bit better getting to bed at a reasonable hour each night.

In general, I know what I need to do, I just don't always do it. A lot of this has to do with my anxiety and frustration with work. I've decided to get back to sending out resumes, even if it's just an exercise. Something may turn up.

Well, friends. I'm off to do a little more cleaning, then go to bed.

Peace!

Thrush and gorillas

So the thrush is being rooted out, thanks to the Nystatin. It sucks and I really don't want to experience this again.

One of the bizarre things that happened is that I lost my apetite. This seems like a bad thing, but since it hurt to swallow, it was actually a blessing in disguise. Unfortunately, my apetite came back yesterday before my throat is feeling fully healed.

Thank the gods for soft foods.

Today, I did feel well to go to my ritual group. We had a lovely time and were led in a shamanic journey to get in touch with endangered animals that we had chosen to bring into the ritual.

I had chose gorillas. I had the experience of being a gorilla for the short journey. I still don't have many words for the experience, but I took away the sense of connectedness that gorillas develop in their family groups. An immediacy of their lives.

It was very cool and it renews my desire to pursue learning more about shamanism.

One of the things that the woman who lead the shaman's journey said was that the difference between being a shaman and a sorcerer is that the shaman keeps as their intention to benefit all life. The sorcerer calls change into being for their own gain. Of course, it is hard to tease that out sometimes as we are a somewhat narcissistic species.

Still, it occurred to me that this is what I find is wrong with the Secret. So much of what I believe about magic is that we can use our will to shift the course of the world. But to do so with the point of simply furthering your own gain seems wrong. It also seems that it can throw things out of balance.

Anyway. I'm feeling better, but still tired. I'm going to focus in the next few weeks to be well and ready to sing in my choir concert.

Also, I would be happy if anyone has some extra healing energy to send out to my mom. She goes in for knee replacement surgery on Tuesday morning. I'm sure she'll do just fine and make a quick recovery. :)

Perfect Storm...

So I finally got to see my allergist who diagnosed and put me on meds for the sinus infection.

Then a new symptom developed...a sore throat. I thought I was getting strep, but it turns out that the soreness and the white spots at the back of my throat are probably thrush (especially as, after just one dose, the medication for it has resulted in a disappearance of the white spots).

Upon doing some investigation, it seems that I was running straight toward this overgrowth. Celiac disease, especially when you get glutened, can predispose you...as can an illness (like a sinus infection) and inhaled steroids (like the stuff I take for my allergies and started increasing as a way to deal with my allergies). Then, when my doc prescribed prednisone along with the antibiotic, I think my body just threw up its hands and let the yeast move in.

So it hurts to swallow, but I'm already getting treatment.

In the meantime, this is a huge red flag to me. I need to start doing some things to improve my overall health. And this means committing time to it: cooking at home and not taking the chance of getting glutened...being better at cleaning so I'm sure there's not a lot of extra alternaria, the mold I'm allergic to, around...and getting an air purifier. And walking...yes, walking and swimming when I'm feeling better.

'Cause I want to reduce the possibility that this will happen again.

Updates

Patrick Swayze passed away. Another pop icon who is gone.

Also, I apparently have a sinus infection and an ear infection. I will have antibiotics soon, and will perhaps be able to get through the day without feeling like I need to tip over at various times.

Off to bed soon.