I'm a bad social worker. Well, okay, I do an okay job being a social worker, except for the part where everything is supposed to be documented. See I can find referrals, provide counseling, make phone calls to impress on other's the urgency of my client's situation, generally try to help people understand how to interact with someone who is mentally ill, and work on behavior change with the best of them.
But I hate the mundane...and for the most part charting is mundane. I report, without embellishment, my interaction with a client. Keep it bare. Keep it clinical. Just the facts, ma'am.
And I get clausterphobic just thinking about it. And I procrastinate doing it, like I procrastinate other mundane activities (believe it or not, I also get clausterphobic if I have to do a lot of photocopying or faxing).
I don't know why this happens. Just writing about it makes me feel foggy and a little out-of-body.
This wouldn't be an issue, if I'd had someone who helped me structure all of this in the past (because I just haven't been able to get a handle on how to do it for myself). But my former manager wasn't big on documentation. Today, the interim manager talked about this with us (me and my co-worker). She's big on this. She audits charts.
And now I'm panicked. Now, I know that she'll think that I'm a bad social worker. I'm legitimately worried about what this means about my job.
And I'm secretly pleased. I know that once the panic passes, just knowing that someone will be looking over my shoulder will keep me up to date...and I know that keeping up to date actually keeps the feeling of clausterphobia at bay (because really it's all about having more to do than I think I can do).
And how fucked is all of this, I ask....Why can't I figure out how to do this on my own?