Sunday, November 06, 2005

"Who can make the sunshine on a cloudy day"

It's been overcast for much of the day, and although my mood is better than it was yesterday, I'm still feeling a bit down. Not for the same reasons. I recognize that tonight (Sunday), I'm anticipating work tomorrow and not looking forward to it - even though it should be a relatively quiet and productive day.

I just got done putting the finishes on a mezze that I'm taking to the LVC house tonight. We'll (FriendITease & I) be feeding the volunteers, then talking to them about conflict resolution. It's so funny how little of this stuff is taught in our schools or by other organizations growing up (and really most of us don't get it from our families).

I can't begin to tell you all how much I am looking forward to Thanksgiving this year. It's not just that I'll be spending it with wonderful people again (P'tit Loup, then coming back for the weekend to spend time with HippyChick and a friend of her's from out of town). But the fact that I will be having 4 days of no dialysis center. I really do want the tension level to even out there, but that will probably take awhile.

Tonight, I'll come home and write for a bit. Even though I think I'm not so far along as I should be, and I feel like I'm stalling on my plot, I still want to struggle with this thing to the end. At least to say that I've done it.

I notice that I've been beating myself up a lot lately: not exercising (at all), not getting my work done in a timely way, not being able to navigate the waters of dating too well, not writing enough, etc., etc. ad infinitum. And I think that this week, I'm going to create myself a Stuart Smally-esque mantra to counter all those crappy things I'm thinking to myself about myself.


Matt said...

You are good enough, smart enough, and I really do like you. Take a deep breath. That's all. Just breath.

P'tit-Loup said...

Someone beat me to the punch on that one! By the way the real Stuart, (Al Franken) was in our little town this week publicizing is new book. Unfortunately, I was in Fresno for a great conference or I would have been the first one in line at the bookstore and at Cal Poly to see him tape his show.

Aravis said...

I understand that feeling, and I'm sending warm Stuart Smally thoughts your way!