Friday, December 30, 2005

"Aren't we precious inside"

I took a number of fun pictures today, but my computer is being too slow at uploading them. So I guess you will just have to do with the words.

Today started out with me anticipating not getting my car back. I planned the different bus routes I would have to take. Then headed for a walk to the bank and the store. Now, I'm not in the best of shape these days, but I blame most of my exhaustion on the fact that I am still sick. Low-grade fever, achiness, tired all the time.

But on I went to the bank and the store. Then came back to a bagel and orange juice. And a nap (after only being up for 2 hours).

I got up from my nap and Sammy, my personal angel, called to say that, despite not having the check, they would be releasing my car to me today. He sent a driver over to pick me up, and I went to pick up my car. Today has been a mixture of joy and angst...angst over the fact that I'm feeling such joy at having my car back. But really, it's raining and I'm feeling sick, and having to take 5 buses to get everywhere I need to get is just demoralizing. (I will remember these days fondly in the future I'm sure).

I went to my therapy. There's a lovely rose bush outside of the office that is just blooming right now. How fucking cool is that! Blooming at the end of December. Therapy was good...I know I've mentioned having difficulty asking for what I need from people: here's why. There is this old belief that I have that if I want something too much, I will jinx it. In other words, I can't want something or I won't get it...mostly this has to do with the affections of other people. Where I get into trouble is that if I deny that I want something (and therefore don't go after it) then it becomes a self-fulfilling prophecy.

But the joy of the day came after my clients were done...I have 3 whole days of no work (dialysis or private practice) and staying home. B and I had discussed going to LA, but apparently it's going to be bad weather on the way down and we've opted for not going anywhere and hanging out together on NYE (that probably means no snogging, since B is not inclined in that direction...another snogless NYE *sigh*).

I'm going to lie abed tomorrow and listen to the rain...and read trashy novels...and watch movies...and maybe clean (because B is coming over, I think).

Doesn't that sound brilliant!

8 comments:

Paula said...

I hope you get to feeling better. Aches and fever are so not fun.

Hey, I know what you mean about that rose bush. Several years ago I was really depressed. It was like I saw everything in greyscale. I was walking to my next appointment and I took a different route than usual. There was this glorious bush full of flowers EXACTLY my favorite color. It's like that color just popped into my black and white world and for that moment I felt loved by God and like everything might be okay and life might be worth living after all.

Aravis said...

I'm so sorry you're not well. Good thing you have a few days to take care of yourself. I can sympathize with the feeling that all is gray and drizzly. I hope that you and B have a wonderful New Year's Eve, with or without someone to snog. You have my best wishes for a fulfilling, peaceful and joyous new year!

Lord Bargain said...

enjoy your New Years Eve, eh? Snog or no snog...

Fred said...

Yay - the car is back!!

Have a happy new year, Spin. The car is a great start...

Hyde said...

Hi Spins,

Just wanted to drop by to wish you a happy new year! Sending good wishes...

:)

-h

Mr-Mystic said...

I've missed something somewhere. What dyalisis?

Hippy Chick said...

Yay you got your car back! I'm kind of glad you're not going to LA - I was worried about you two driving in all this rain and wind and I hope you have a great NYE! I'm really sick now too but I'm going to the show anyway and will probably be abed myself for the next 2 days off. Looking forward to hanging with ya in 2006! :)

spinsterwitch said...

Mystic - the job that pays most of the bills is as a social worker at a dialysis facility. The private practice, at this time, pays for it's own rent and my own therapy.