"By choice or by some reward"

I have the cutest picture as the background on my computer at work right now. It's HippyChick & BeeDragon's kitten, Nikkyo. She's just a little kitty-face! It makes me very happy.

This weekend was a busy one. Mostly it was busy because S was coming back after being gone for 2 weeks. He gave me some "homework" which was mostly looking ahead at what I want in different areas of my life. This was a real challenge for me. I sort of live my life from one vacation to the next, so it's a strange idea to be trying to imagine ahead more than 15-20 years. One thing I learned is that my expected lifespan is approximately 90 years old. That's awhile from now.

On Saturday, I saw a new client which was really exciting. It's been awhile, and I think she's going to work out. I also had another referral this week. And I haven't even sent out my mailing. After seeing clients, I went over to HC & BD's, and we talked and fawned over Nikkyo and watched the X-games. It's too bad I'm not about 18 years younger or I would have to have a huge crush on Shaun White. That boy gets some air! Still there are some other skaters who are closer to my age, so it's all good.

Sunday, I went over to S' house. SS was there (ummm...have I mentioned that S is poly. I knew it going in and I'm cool with it, so no being shocked.), and she asked what we were doing that day. S answered, "We're going to the Civil War." SS turned to me and asked if I'd ever been. I said no, and she told me that I would love it. Such a strange conversation to have about a war. But it was fun. It was a reenactment at Ardenwood Regional Park. The one thing I noticed later was that there was no real mention of the politics behind the war, nor were their any black soldiers in evidence. It just seemed a little strange.

Anyway, we spent a long time talking about the future that evening...about the timeline that I'd done. It was strange to talk about how I had a hard time thinking about being happy single until I am into my 60s, then I could imagine it. I talked about, conversely, how it was hard to imagine what I wanted romantic relationships to look like because, from very young, I'd thought of being single as being lonely and alone. It seems a bit hypocritical when thinking about running a group which advocates people feeling happy in their single state. Or maybe not, maybe it's just me chasing a place I've always wanted to be. Ironic, that I'm figuring it out now that I am in a relationship.

Did any of that make any sense?

The whole singleness stuff has been on my mind because of a couple posts I've read this week as well. I don't really know what to say about it, but it's raised lot's of feelings in me that I'm still trying to sort out.

Well, all, I think that's all I have for now. If I think of anything more, I'll post.