I feel like there are things that I want to share on this blog that I know are going to be challenging for some people to accept. In particular, I recognize that the way in which my relationship is structured with S makes some people in my life very uncomfortable. The thing I want to share is something that makes me just joyful to think about it, but in imagining posting it I found myself wondering how others would view the interaction.
Last night, I was finding myself getting anxious about this...this morning, I find that I'm don't care what other people think. I'm fully engaged in this power exchange, and I'm finding myself feeling happy and safe with someone for the first time in my life. I read a description of a woman with ADD last night that being bound allowed her to feel complete peace in a way that medications or therapy never had. And I think the process may be something similar, although the binding in this case isn't physical.
Here's the interaction I wanted to share: S and I were sharing a bowl of strawberries. S asked, "How are you picking which strawberries to eat?" "I look for the brightest one," I responded. "You should be leaving those for me," he said, and I felt, for a moment, chastised. Then he continued, "Because that's what I do. I leave the best one's for you, and then at the end only the very best will be in the bowl." This sums up exactly why I trust him so much.