And, so, Friday was a busy day...it was also the wrong day to recognize the anniversary of S & I, that was Saturday. But I had already cried. So there it is.
I went out with SS that night to have dinner and see Figaro. It was not the opera, but a "musical play." Some of it was funny, some very poignant. I was not prepared for it to be 3 hours, though. I was exhausted by the time I got home.
Saturday, I saw clients then came home for a nap. S had given me tickets to see The Little Prince. It was a lovely opera...and not too long. I have to admit, I thought the ending was a bit overdone, but perhaps if I read the book, I would appreciate it more. I took my work colleague and we had a lovely time.
Yesterday morning, we had combat class at the marina. I went to watch and learn, rather than participate. I practiced some of what my physical therapist has been showing me about standing correctly. Tonight, at class, I'll be working. I spent the rest of the day resting again and watching television.
Throughout all of this, I continue to e-mail and leave messages for S. He will often e-mail me back. I miss him, and I feel a little invisible to him...my therapist and I agree that I'm doing this to remind him that I'm here. It's no fun to feel invisible. He continues to say he loves me (and show me in small ways like giving me the tickets and sending me an anniversary e-mail).
It's not always sadness and doubt though. I am moving through life and living. This is good for me, even though it's hard.