I haven't been blogging a lot lately. I talked yesterday, in therapy, about how difficult it has become to continue to talk sometimes about how I am feeling. Not my emotions - physically. I feel like I've become a broken record, and I am not soothed by it, so it feels a bit like whining.
But if it is, so be it, I'm going to whine.
Most of the IBS symptoms have receded to nothing. I do, however, get wicked gas from time to time. This is no fun...and I would rather have diarhea over constipation any day (not that I like either, thank you very much). I only rarely feel nauseous...mostly when I eat fatty foods. So I just avoid those foods.
But more concerning than all of that is ongoing fatigue, achiness, headaches and low-grade fevers. This may sound familiar, as these were symptoms that I experienced last year about this time when I was getting over the lime infection. I'm worried, because of this, that it wasn't adequately treated. I'm worried that the lyme infection is still there.
At the end of last month, I mentioned to my doctor that I am having "warm" periods during work on a regular basis. This had been going on for several weeks at that point. Although they were bothersome, there was no other symptom to throw in there. As the weeks have passed, I find that I am increasingly tired. I have more and more evenings when my body aches and the temperature during the day runs from 99.4 - 100 F. At night, strangely, my body temperature is the closest to normal that it gets.
Oh, I do have days when I feel okay, but then I decide that I want to go out and do something...and I tire myself out.
Using this weekend as an example: On Saturday, I saw one client in the morning, then I returned to HC & LB's house. I watched TV, played with the kitties and took a nap. Then I went into the city for a few hours for a ritual and a potluck. I was the first one to leave, and when I got home I felt yucky. The next day, feeling better in the morning, I went with S to watch an equestrian event (no strenuosity, as we sat in bleachers during the whole thing). We then drove out to Pleasanton to watch a silent movie and wander about a bit before having dinner and heading home. I was out for most of the day, but we did nothing difficult and took lots of breaks.
I have felt like crap ever since. I don't know what to do about it all. I feel like I could sleep for a week. I take baths most nights because it feels good and lessens the achiness.
And I don't think my doctor knows what to do. I went for my repeat test for lyme and we are waiting results. But those tests are not terribly accurate.
I'm going on this retreat this weekend. I leave with SS tomorrow morning. I'm so looking forward to getting away...to having time to do nothing, if I like.
I don't know what to I'm looking for with this post - maybe to just put it out there. I feel yucky most of the time. Saying it may help me be able to talk about the other things in my life more.