Monday, November 17, 2008

Miracle of miracles...

Yesterday, in conversation with S about our relationship, he said, "So I should stop assuming that you are me and let you make up your own mind?" See, I figured something out when we were talking. S is a strange guy.

He says that he's someone who doesn't plan too far ahead, but then he spends his time trying to figure out future scenarios about how things might work. Despite the fact that I know all of the ideas he has for the future, and am aware that these plans might draw him in another direction in life than I am going, he is afraid that down the line I will feel hurt.

He asked me to project ahead and try to imagine a time when we may drift apart. Would the future me be angry or upset that I'd made the decision I did? My honest answer is that I can't imagine ever regretting choosing to be with him. It may come to pass, but even with all that we've been through, I have not regretted a moment of the times we've spent together.

So, even though he has some sense of guilt over anticipated future events, I think we have come to a better understanding together.

In other news, I think my stomach is much happier this week than it has been in a long time. I still have upper right stomach pain...but it's transient (as though it were gas related) and doesn't seem to have any relationship to when I eat. I'm also not burping all the time, nor do I seem to have the full or nauseous feeling I usually do after I eat.

It's not been easy. I frankly dislike fish, so I've been cheating a little and eating crab and shrimp a lot. The protein has helped me not feel hungry all the time like I did the first 2 days. And I'm looking forward to normal food again in the future (sans wheat, though).

In other news, I'm addicted to the Hatchery game on Facebook.


Aravis said...

It's good that the two of you are coming to understand things more clearly. He does like to project, doesn't he? But it's nice that it's in part because he's worried about you. I like your response, the way you have no regrets. That's a pretty special thing.

I'm glad that you're feeling better physically as well. I hope this continues to work out for you.

shorty said...

What is SS's relationship with S at this current point in time?

spinsterwitch said...

Thanks, Aravis.

Shorty - I believe that they are in a similar space, but I'm trying to stay as seperate from their relationship as is possible.