Monday, June 06, 2005
The better I get, the worse it feels
I've worked really hard on my self-esteem for most of my life. And, really, I feel pretty confident and happy with myself on most days. But it seems like the more I root out the little pieces of pain, regret, or fear, the more I uncover of something bigger underneath. Friday was one of those days when I got hit with loneliness so hard, I just didn't know what to do with it. It never lasts for long - I woke up on Saturday to sunshine and a day of rest. But it's as though all the little shit were a smoke screen to something deep. They distracted me from some other piece of myself that I don' t quite know what to do with yet. But, I guess, just writing this I answered the big question of what it is...loneliness.