Wednesday, October 05, 2005

"Love, it's a bitch!"

So, there are several things that have me thinking about the topic of love lately. My own family stuff, obviously, makes me think of that seemingly magical attachment. Conversations, comments by fellow bloggers, and recently a small revelation as I sat with a client (my own revelation, not theirs).

So I'm throwing the topic of love open to all comers. What is it? Where have you found it? How do you recognize it? How is it different with different people in your life? Have you ever regretted love? Would you rather talk about something else?

And just for your amusement, here's a picture of me in my pajamas...because I wouldn't want to stop being eclectically random:

15 comments:

the urban fox said...

Hello Spinny! *waves at pic*

Love is such a huuuuuuuuuuuge subject I wouldn't know where to begin. I'll pass the baton to the next caller.

Flash said...

Love...well it's everything really, isn't it?

LavaLady said...

I'm awfully confused on the subject myself. Perhaps, like hell, love is other people?

Seriously...

Love (as I am experiencing it right now) is one of the scariest things in the world. When the kids were quite young (especially the youngest), I was more afraid of losing them, which in it's way was based on love. Now that they are holding their own (they can run and fight back) I'm not as afraid of losing them. My love for them has had to change and grow, I have to figure much of that out... But they are my friends and companions and I love them in a way I haven't ever before loved someone. I also find myself sometimes feeling that familial contempt I've felt for my mother and father, which makes me sad...

I find myself falling in love with my friends all over again lately, in part because I felt so disconnected for so long.

My romantic love with Palmer is growing and changing and I'm at once comfortable and happy and frightened and unsettled. He and I are very much alike, which funnily makes things even harder sometimes.

Um, I'm totally rambling. I don't know what I'm trying to say! I don't regret falling in love with my ex husband, but I do regret the choices I made with him...

Okay, let's talk about something else. You always look comfortable, like you are fine in your own skin. I wish I felt that way more often.

Hyde said...

I love your picture and I love this topic, but I'm in the middle of a crazy day, so to say anything meaningful, I'll have to come back and visit you here later...

-h

Hippy Chick said...

Since you're talkin' 'bout love, thought I'd post my reply #10 here:
Well, I can’t pinpoint an exact time that I really knew Bee Dragon was the one but I can give you a little background and what really cemented it. When I first started getting to know her, you may recall, she was just the partner of my lover D– D and I had taken a break because of Bee and having to work out some issues about D seeing me. D had an operation at the end of 1999 and around that time Bee felt fine for D and I to start seeing each other again. D encouraged Bee and I to get to know each other better. We started hanging out at D’s place (with D) playing Trivial Pursuit. The night in early Feb 2000 that we got together for the first time w/out D, at the Bird, to play TP was the night that all the sparks flew and I knew I was at least in lust. Things happened quick from there. We got to emailing and therefore finding out the many things we had in common. Then to telling D we wanted to date eachother. Then to actually dating and I we both fell in love hard and fast after that. I think the qualities that made me know were that I could be my total self in front of her no matter what my mood, circumstances, etc and she would just love me regardless. I still to this day do not understand it but I love it and treasure it. I’ve never been able to be that way in front of anyone else, that is my full, true, unadulterated, in all it’s “glory” (NOT!) self, before or since. But when I really consciously KNEW she was the one, was when I went to Europe in 2001. Don’t know if you recall or were aware but she was really sick just after I left, to the point where she was worried she’d have to be hospitalized. With meds and some help from friends she was able to regroup and in TWO DAYS managed to run around getting birth certificate, passport and airline ticket in order to come meet me in Paris for my last week. Some background to this is that she usually hated flying and did not like to travel by plane but somehow got it together to fly 11 hours to meet me, knowing that she’d also have to take a different flight home from Amsterdam alone again. Definitely the ONE! :)

Scully said...

All you really need is love.

Seriously, love to me means more than a warm puppy. It's being able to give love and comfort and joy.

Charby said...

Pass.

spinsterwitch said...

So here's my stab at it...the small revelation I had was to realize that there is a quality of yearning to love. This yearning is not rational and it can be persistant. It's why I would say that I love Sister, even though I don't know her anymore.

There's also more that plays into love, obviously, (affection, a sense of comfort as HC so aptly described, and sometimes a giddiness). But that quality of yearning seems to be a defining one for me.

This makes love less spectacular maybe, but despite my affection for trashy novels (which are really more about the sex, anyway), I can be a deeply practical girl.

As far as romantic love, I don't believe in soul mates, or that we only love one person. I think that the human capacity for love is amazingly resillient, given the chance.

Hippy Chick said...

Beautifully said amiga!

spinsterwitch said...

And back at you, HC (Mutual Admiration Society now in order...)

I still like my barbie version of your story the best!

Moose said...

In the words of Nazareth, "Love hurts"

P'tit-Loup said...

I guess for me love is something you give and so often we interpret it as something to receive. That's where I think most of my problems with love come from. I don't think I have regretted any of the love that came by in my life, but I wish I was better able to limit my expectation of it. That is where the pain and dissapointments have come from at times because I would expect, and still do, something that cannot be there but is out of my own fantasies I guess. I don't know if I make any sense with this. I really like what HC, LL and SW said a lot too.

red one said...

you know the funny thing is that I was just thinking about love this morning, when I woke up. And the thoughts lingered with me all morning. And now there is this.

But I'm not very good at words when it comes to this sort of thing. Inarticulate really.

red

Lord Bargain said...

it's a renewable resource, that much is true. Which makes it a Good Thing.

Hyde said...

I'm late on this one, so I won't write a treatise. All I have to say is that love is completely rational, but that it doesn't matter because love is completely irrational. And love is everything.