Tuesday, April 18, 2006

"Mad world..."

So it is the second day back at work. The way it works out, Mondays and Wednesdays are my quieter days and Tuesdays and Thursdays are pretty chaotic. Today was even more so than usual. I feel a little like I've been dropped into a strange universe and am now expected to know the rules and be the responsible one.

And there is ongoing turmoil about our management. I haven't gone into it much. I don't really want to because sometimes it feels like "venting" becomes something like adding more stress to an already stressful situation. I'd sort of hoped that when I came back, things would magically be solved. Sadly, not so.

I've felt really absorbed and detached. I don't think that's a terrible thing because I do want to focus more on the rest of my life. But still. It's a bit strange.

As promised there are a couple more gems to be added to the craigslist files. One gentleman wrote to say that he is a very popular writer in Europe...in mostly other languages. Not a bad thing at all, except that the tone of the response was pretty narcissistic. Basically, it came down to the fact that once we had made a deep connection, I would have to read his books (hopefully he has English copies at his disposal)...and that he's sure I would want to. Another gentleman, who identified himself as hispanic, wanted to know what kind of music it was that I was talking about...and because it was not familiar to him, it must only be white music. Essentially, these two e-mailers were not really interested in me at all.

I find myself in a strange place with all of this....beyond adventures with bloggers, I've mentioned that I met CollegeFriend at the beginning of the week. There were some sparks lit between us...very sweet and innocent, and they have been followed by an e-mail here and there. Again very sweet and a bit romantic. I grin when I get them. I wouldn't be adverse to exploring something, but it's just so damned inconvenient being so far away.

And there is this desire to date...to meet people...to do this thing that people do with seeing who we like and having a bit of fun. I know it's okay to date, and I know that I've promised nothing to CollegeFriend beyond maybe seeing him again in the future, but it's just a bit overwhelming. A dry well for years and years, and now it's a bit overflow-y! ACK!

*deep sigh*

4 comments:

MrMystic said...

Sometimes the words date or dating seem to mean more to us than they should.

How about going out with a friend and getting to know them.

Does that sound better?

Then there is the other method of meeting new people.

Get all dressed up in skin tight leather with high heels. Tie your hair in a pony tail and carry a horse whip, then go visit a few discos

Matt said...

I was pondering the Craig's list thing. I was going to wait until I saw how things came out with you :) I'm sort of glad I waited.

Aravis said...

I like Mr. Mystic's suggestion of thinking of it as meeting new friends rather than putting so much pressure on the situation.

Remember too that if you find it scary, you're not alone. A lot of people feel that way too. *hug*

the urban fox said...

Yikes, I can see why neither of those two appealed to you. Exactly as you say, they are not focusing on you at all, but rather themselves.

Not sure about Mystic's leather idea, given that our Spin is a veggie, but the disco bit could work. After all, we know Spin is the dancing queen.