Tuesday, May 23, 2006

"Back to the here and now"

I've always had anxiety. It's something I now recognize. The beautiful thing about the medication that I'm on is that it quiets that anxiety to a manageable level. I still worry, don't worry. That will never go away. But I don't get surges of adrenaline over stupid stuff that I can't control. I don't get panicked.

Anxiety makes me think that everything that can go bad will go bad...it taps into my need to control things, in a desperate attempt to quell said anxiety. It doesn't work, of course.

Today, my head is not telling me that my current relationship decisions will destroy the world as we know it. I am more at peace with the fact that today is today and tomorrow will always be a different day.

What a beautiful thing.

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Update: I just heard the best news possible in my line of work...one of our patients got a transplant!

6 comments:

Charby said...

A transplant! yahoo! Lets hope everything goes ok!

Flash said...

*echoes Charbs*

hammer said...

What kind of a transplant? (I have lots more to say on the anxiety thing, but just read my blog and I'm sure you'll see that I have surges of adrenaline over nothingness too...)

spinsterwitch said...

Hammer - a kidney transplant. I have started reading your blog more...

Aravis said...

Wonderful news about your patient! :0)

hammer said...

Spinster,
I didn't mean for my comment to sound like an injunction for you to read it or else... Sorry if it sounded that way. I hope you're feeling better today with the anxiety. And that's great news about a transplant.