Wednesday, June 28, 2006

Worst song ever

Usually, I not terribly critical of music I don't enjoy, simply because I think perhaps I'm not qualified to judge certain genres. But today, reading Mark Morford, I stumbled across the new song performed by Paris Hilton. Not only is the music pap (I don't believe I've ever gotten to use that word before...nothing's ever been appropriate), but these have got to be the worst lyrics ever.

Stars Are Blind
I don't mind spending some time
Just hanging here with you
Cuz I don't find too many guys
That treat me like you do
Those other guys all wanna take me for a ride
But when I walk their talk is suicide
Some people never get beyond their stupid pride
But you can see the real me inside
And I'm satisfied, oh no, ohh

(inane chorus)
Even though the gods are crazy
Even though the stars are blind
If you show me real love baby
I'll show you mine
I can make you nice and naughty
Be the devil and angel too
Got a heart and soul and body
Let's see what this love can do
Baby i'm perfect for you
My love, ohh oh

I could be your confidante
Just one of your girlfriends
But I know that love's what you want
If tomorrow the world ends
Why shouldn't we be with the one we really love?
Now tell me who have you been dreaming of
At night at home? oh no, ohh

(inane chorus)

Excuse me for feeling
This moment is critical
Might be me feeling
It could get physical, oh no, no no

(more inane chorus)

It's just perfectly horrid - and damnit! Now it's an earworm (not to mention that I saw the "video" which looked like a cross between HBO soft-porn and the Sports Illustrated swimsuit issue).


P'tit-Loup said...

Good description of the video! I have not seen it and I certainly make an effort to not see anything this person (I can't bring myself to call her a woman) does. I'm not familiar with the expression pap. Could you enlighten me?

Aravis said...

Glad I only read the words without the music. No earworms.

Is it possible to have eye worms???

spinsterwitch said...

P'tit Loup - according to wikipedia, pap is a South African porridge similar in texture and flavor to unseasoned polenta. The expression came into European usage through the Dutch usage of the same word to simply mean gruel. So pap is something bland, and vaguely unappetizing (although polenta is good when seasoned and served with other things...).

Hyde said...

Ugh, yes. I saw the video too. And I'm DEFINITELY with you on this one, Spins!


Ka said...

In a recent recap on Television Without Pity, the recapper (Potes) wrote the following bit of sheer unabject brilliant hilarity:

"And before we begin in earnest, I have a confession for you, my dear, forgiving readers. The other night I was driving in my car and flipping around on the radio, and it was kind of late and I had maybe had a drink or two. And I came upon a song that I had never heard before. So I stopped scanning and listened to the song, which was a catchy pop kind of ditty with a dancehall beat, and I was like, "Huh. This song seems pretty stupid, but I sort of like it anyway." But I couldn't figure out who sang the song. Was it Gwen Stefani? No, not quite. Pink? No. For the love of God, Jessica Simpson? Still not right. Oh, for the love of Jesus, Joseph, and Mary, ASHLEE Simpson? No, no, that wasn't it either. So I got home, and was actually curious enough to Google some of the song lyrics to find out who sang it. And then, it happened. "'Stars Are Blind' by Paris Hilton." Paris Fucking Hilton. Fucking Google and its crack accuracy. So what I'm saying, everybody, is not to trust anything I say, or hold any opinions set forth in this recap in any sort of esteem, because I have poor taste and bad judgment. I admit this whole story to you as some sort of penance, so that one day I may stop hating myself."

I've tried to watch the video on YouTube (yes, willingly, I know) and couldn't do it. And this coming from someone who willingly and wantonly downloaded Britney Spears' "Everytime" - her love song to JT - onto her iPod...

spinsterwitch said...

After Hyde's comment, I re-read just what I said about the video being soft porn/SI: Swimsuit issue, and just a note to the gentlemen out there, I really believe that I gave it too much credit. It is both those things, but as HippyChick so brilliantly pointed out last night, it (like the performer) is quite vacant.

I loved the quote, Ka.

P'tit-Loup said...

Hmh, was I on the wrong track, I thought it had more to do with a Pap smear, just as uncomfortable, but not quite as painful.

But yes I have heard of pap as in porridge, but I thought you meant some kind of music style.