Yesterday was a really yucky day for me. I had a day of feeling like I was disappointing people left and right. I know it's not the truth, but once I was feeling that way, it just seemed to spiral into the rest of the day. I topped the day with having to tell the coordinator for LVC that I won't be able to lead the process groups next year. Not only is that hard for them because they need to find someone else to do it, but that was really hard for me. I love doing it, but I also know that the idea of not having that responsibility for awhile will be really nice.
I had a long, really helpful talk with SlowTalker last night, and I'm feeling a bit more on my feet. But tomorrow, I have to talk to my therapist about taking a break in August from therapy. I just don't have the money coming in right now. It sucks, but I literally don't know where the money would come from to pay for it.
Which brings me to my private practice. I have not had any new referrals that have stuck. I'm feeling really nervous about it. I know that there are some things that I can do, but I'm pretty worried. I'm actually working on an idea for a group starting in September - which means I need to get flyers out soon! And as my dialysis colleague puts it, I need to get on insurance lists...so I'll be working on that on Friday.
Despite yesterday's low, I do have to take a moment right now to sing the praises of psychopharmacology. I had a dream last night that I was feeling down for several days. In my dream, I told B that she should remind me to talk to my MD about increasing my anti-depressant. I didn't like what yesterday was like, but it's the first time that I've felt that way for months...at the end of last year, I was feeling that way every day. And despite my anxiety about my finances, I am not having panic attacks or insomnia over it as I would have then. It's good to feel resilliant!
Okay, important paperwork to do today. I've gotta go!