Flash asked what "poly" meant...I sometimes use shorthand for terms that I feel like everyone knows. I shouldn't make those assumptions, obviously. "Poly" in this context means polyamorous - someone who is in more than one relationship.
I made the mistake of sharing this information with a colleague who had a very strong reaction to the fact that the person I'm seeing is also seeing someone else. I've since come to believe that she was cheated on by someone in the past as she thinks it's a horribly unfair and uneven situation.
But here's the thing...I actually like it. I know SS (S' other partner). She is a lovely woman who makes fabulous baked goods! I may have to split my time with S, but that also leaves me time to do the things I need to get done and see my friends. I haven't disappeared from my friends' lives in this new relationship (which can sometimes happen).
Some might think that he is getting the better end of the deal, but I'm not so sure. Yes, he has variety, but I ask you men who are working to keep one woman happy full-time...what would it be like for you to keep 2 women happy full-time (and we're not just talking sex here, gentlemen)? It's a lot of work. I get tired just imagining it, and I'm happy that I only have to think of one person.
What bugs me about this particular co-worker's response about this is that I am happy. I went into the relationship knowing about this and it is my choice. But somehow that doesn't seem to matter. The last conversation we had made that so clear. I said, "I know you don't understand..." and her response, before I could even finish my sentence was: "No, I don't!" That's when it became clear that she really didn't care about how I felt about it, but had her own issues that she couldn't see beyond.
*Sigh*
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7 comments:
There is nothing wrong with the situation since you are aware of it. You have been happier as of late and the only issue I can see coming from it would be if you one day want him all to yourself and he isn't down for that lifestyle.
Enjoy your day!
If it works for you Spins, then fair play.
To quote Foxy; if you're happy, I'm happy.
Dearest Spins, glad to hear things are good. You're absolutely right, there's nothing wrong with it as long as everyone knows and approves. At the same time, I wouldn't let this prevent you from developing something with CF if you so desire. You may have feelings for S, but if he's free to have two sweeties, you should be too. What's good for the goose is even better for the gander.
I always wanted a harem of attentive chaps!
I really like what everyone else has said. What's important is if you're happy. It's all out in the open with no painful dishonesty. Bravo for you, I say! :0)
but I ask you men who are working to keep one woman happy full-time...what would it be like for you to keep 2 women happy full-time (and we're not just talking sex here, gentlemen)?
Honestly? It was the worst thing I ever went through. Even though it was "aboveboard" Jealousy did rear it's ugly head eventually. The demands were too much, and we all went our seperate ways. This is what fascinates me about Poligamists. How on earth do they keep 3, 5, 8, even 10 wives happy? It blows my mind. I also don't think that the sex is anything like the "Hot girl on girl action" e-mails I receive once in a while. Oh well, as always, I'm happy if your happy Spins, and I hope it goes well for you.
Wow. Of course there's nothing wrong with this if it's consensual, but it's so different from anything I can imagine being okay with. It's interesting how different human beings can be emotionally!
Glad you're happy!
:)
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two women on the go at once? brave, brave man. It sounds idyllic in principle, but hell... one is more than enough for me!
good luck to you spins, and bollocks to anyone who can't see that you're happy!
ST
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