I woke up about an hour ago and have been unable to get back to sleep. I've been noticing an increase in my anxiety in the past couple of weeks, and, of course, this increases my anxiety. I'm trying to put it all in a bit of perspective and not become convinced that I'm winding my way into a state of anxiety and depression such as I've experienced before, so indulge me.
Top 10 reasons for Spinny's anxiety to, justifiably, be up:
1. Patient situation at the dialysis center at the beginning of the month which involved calling police.
2. Week-long illness, the likes of which I have not experienced in my adult life before.
3. A week of hot, hot weather and no air conditioning in my home.
4. Continuing developing feelings for a certain SlowTalker, corresponding with the imminent arrival of a certain CollegeFriend. These two ships are about to collide!
5. Grandmother dying.
6. Continuing decline of my private practice clients (I really am pleased they are getting well, but couldn't they just pay me to hang out?!).
7. Spending several days with my relatives in Iowa.
8. Concern about my mother's increased forgetfulness and my father's chronic condition.
9. Another patient situation which involves a patient who is in denial that going for a really, really long time without dialysis treatment is deadly...
10. The backdrop of increased violence in Iraq, Israel, Lebanon, and Oakland.
And all that was just in July. Do you think I should submit it to David Letterman?
I learned yesterday that I'm being given 24 hours of bereavement leave, even though I only requested 8. So I get to take Wednesday and Thursday off. I'm hoping that I can find ways to de-stress a bit. Any suggestions, anyone?
A shout out to my parents who are celebrating 44 years of wedded bliss today. They sometimes drive me absolutely batty, but I really love them and appreciate all that they are and do.