Tuesday, December 19, 2006

A letter to Mother Nature

Dearest, Sweetest Mama:

I wish to first apologize on behalf of the human species. We've pretty much done what we wanted here on this planet without taking into consideration the fact that you have rules and whims and plans of your own...most of which we can only speculate with our barely-bigger-than-monkey brains. We have no clue how to "control" you, something for which I am actually terribly grateful.

That said, I'm going to exercise my goddess-given right to beg. See, I live here in the Bay Area. In the past you have been gracious and benevolent to this small section of the world. Perhaps it is just so perfectly beautiful here that when you rest on Mt Tamalpais you just want to stay at a comfortable 60 degrees. I can understand this.

But lately, it seems you have not been restful here. During the summers, we've had much hotter days and in the past week we've been experiencing a bit of a cold snap. I do much prefer the cold, but only when there is somewhere warm to retreat from it - like an insulated home. These don't exist here...I don't know why, exactly. I certainly had no say in the matter.

Please, please, please, Mama, whatever we did to make you so angry, we will correct it. We'll expel all republicans. We'll vote down GMO crops. We'll stop eating at MacBurger-in-a-Box, Jr. We will all go to see An Inconvenient Truth, weekly.

Your devoted daughter,



qqqqqqqqq said...

I admire your valiant effort in asking Old Ma Nature for a weather reprieve, but I fear she has more important things to do.
PS Spinny I need a line for my
. song

J said...

I actually would like more cold here if it came along with some snow, so maybe we can make a trade?

Literary Hoax said...

Your entreaties are charming, but I fear her wrath is too stoked for her to consider backing off just yet. Sigh.

P'tit-Loup said...

Such a sweet letter! If it was addressed to me I would take it in consideration! And I agree with I, cold and no snow is just not fair! There has been frost on my car in the morning. That is most unusual around here!

Hyde said...

If only you could make the world keep those promises... (Although actually "expelling" the Republicans seems a little harsh... As a historian, I have to cringe at the notion of expelling anyone!)


Aravis said...

Whereas here in New England, where we should have already had about a foot of snow, have had absolutely nothing. It was 50 degrees today! What is that? I ask you. It isn't normal.

The song goes "I'm dreaming of a white Christmas," not a brown one.