So my weekend update...Saturday, after seeing clients, doing some dishes and running errands, I met up with S and went to see West Side Story at Woodminster theater. It was a fun show. I've never seen the play, just the movie. I really enjoyed it.
While we waited for the traffic to clear out, S and I discussed the many ways that West Side Story is much more intriguing and complicated than Romeo and Juliet. It's so fun to have discussions like this with him.
We went home and went to bed and ended up sleeping for 12 hours! I guess we were each feeling pretty tired. We had brunch at a place called the Vault in Berkeley. It has an actual vault in the main room as it was originally a bank. The food was so-so. The orange juice was fresh squeezed!
Then we went on our main adventure of our day: bed shopping for S. I think I mentioned last week that S is very deliberate in his examination of things he wants to buy. Well, this was no exception. We spent 3 1/2 hours in European Sleepworks lying on different mattresses. Not a terribly exciting thing perhaps, but I did get to snuggle with my sweetie for 3 1/2 hours, so I'm not going to complain.
We went for a walk at Lake Temescal and had a little talk. I've been feeling some frustration lately and a lot of my issues around being cared for (or more realistically not feeling cared for) have been coming up. I can rationally know that this is especially hard given that this relationship is the most intimate one that I've had in my adult life. So, of course, this stuff is coming up. I can even know that the way that S supports me in wanting to be a strong woman and in loving me with all my neuroses is amazing. But there is a small, young part of me that has come to a point where she must face that those desires for care that she felt were unfulfilled in childhood can never be made up for. Now she needs to move forward, understanding that the care she is receiving is rich and loving.
Still, it sucks!
We ended our evening out with dinner at Shen Hua...then it was home to watch a little Law & Order and to bed.
Why did this weekend feel so short? Ah, yes, I worked on Friday. Hmmm....
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2 comments:
Awesome. I was in West Side Story my senior year of high school!
As for the rest of your post,
"...she must face that those desires for care that she felt were unfulfilled in childhood can never be made up for. Now she needs to move forward, understanding that the care she is receiving is rich and loving."
LET ME KNOW IF YOU FIGURE OUT HOW TO DO THIS!!!
love,
h
Realization, forgiveness, acceptance and progressing forward... never easy. May this transition find you feeling unfettered by the past, and lovable and loved in the future.
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