Tuesday, December 18, 2007


This Major Arcana card is supposed to represent me, according to some book I've read.

I've struggled with this. I don't want to be a hermit. I really don't feel like I should be living my life alone. But in conversation with my therapist today, I've learned a rather hermit-like thing about myself: I find being around people tiring.

As we talked and I tried to think of times when being around other people was completely relaxing and rejuvenating, it was very difficult. There are a few examples: cuddling with S or hanging out sometimes with HippyChick and BeeDragon. But most often, I feel like I need to be "on" in some way.

This all came about because I tend to "check-out" when I go home at night. I know that many people do this as well, but it doesn't always feel healthy to me, and at one point led me to drinking as an attempt to check-out.

I don't know what this all means, really, but it helps me understand why the Hermit might represent me, in some way.

On a less psychological note, I get to go see my podiatrist today who I think really is a hermit. He's going to tell me how he thinks my toe is healing. I think its healing nicely, personally.

1 comment:

Aravis said...

It sounds as though you've been taking on, or at least examining, a lot of personally challenging areas of your life lately. If you feel that there is something off in what you're doing, it's at least good that you're aware of this. Of course, it's natural to turn "off" when getting home, too. You know best what's going on with you. I hope the answers come to you soon. *hug*