S has, uncharacteristically, decided on a weekend on his own. This freaked me out a bit yesterday, and he had me come over and comforted me. There were a bunch of different things going on: wanting to spend time with him, of course, and a bit of worry about what might be going on. There was also a couple of old things rearing their ugly heads...an image of being grounded and all the kids in the neighborhood playing outside came to mind, so the fear that I was being left out of something. Then also a memory of when I was in high school. I had a job at a car dealership and my father came to pick me up one Saturday. The boss told me to stay until the owner of the dealership called in which ended up being 15 minutes later than usual. My father was angry at me for not being ready on time. So I'm worried a bit that S will call on me and want me to come to him and I will not be available for some reason.
That last is not really a reasonable worry since I've never experienced that from S, but obviously I expect it from other experiences with my father. Anyway, I'm trying to let go of all that today. It does nothing but waste a perfectly useful day.
Instead, I'm going for a walk at the Berkeley Marina. It's been awhile since I've been able to do that. It's been raining for most of the weekend but it seems like we might have a bit of a break this morning. Let's hope it holds.
I'm in training, you see...for Hawaii. There are all these things I've planned that I really want to do that require a certain level of fitness: surfing, scuba diving, kayaking. An interesting piece though, I have to talk to the scuba people because they say that extremely overweight people (I'm assuming they are meaning to say obese which is the category I fall in) are not recommended for scuba. It's a bit annoying. I did some reading on it and it seems that there is concern that "the bends" may be more of a problem for heavier people, and it does require a certain stamina and cardiac fitness to be safe. But here's what annoys me: they put this warning on the tour that I was looking at...the one that's supposed to be safe for a 12 year old with no experience to do. Which means we won't be diving in deep water and none of us will be certified...essentially, I think, we'll be snorkeling with scuba gear. So, yeah, I'm annoyed. Still, I will talk to them and I will talk to my doctor, etc.
RE: my training. I'm trying to find good low-impact aerobic videos (if you have recommendations that's great). I watched one yesterday with Gay Gasper...she does the weight training video I've used in the past from the "For Dummies..." series. It's good, but she's annoyingly skinny and they do this split screen thing during the workout portion that I think would give me vertigo. So back to Netflix for it. In case you are wondering, I often preview videos before I do them. It's just my preference.
On a seperate note, I've started reading Wally Lamb's She's Come Undone. I'd never wanted to read it before, but I picked up for cheap with this sense that I should read it. I'm finding it very readable and good. I'll keep you posted.
Hope you all are having a lovely weekend.