Thrush and gorillas

So the thrush is being rooted out, thanks to the Nystatin. It sucks and I really don't want to experience this again.

One of the bizarre things that happened is that I lost my apetite. This seems like a bad thing, but since it hurt to swallow, it was actually a blessing in disguise. Unfortunately, my apetite came back yesterday before my throat is feeling fully healed.

Thank the gods for soft foods.

Today, I did feel well to go to my ritual group. We had a lovely time and were led in a shamanic journey to get in touch with endangered animals that we had chosen to bring into the ritual.

I had chose gorillas. I had the experience of being a gorilla for the short journey. I still don't have many words for the experience, but I took away the sense of connectedness that gorillas develop in their family groups. An immediacy of their lives.

It was very cool and it renews my desire to pursue learning more about shamanism.

One of the things that the woman who lead the shaman's journey said was that the difference between being a shaman and a sorcerer is that the shaman keeps as their intention to benefit all life. The sorcerer calls change into being for their own gain. Of course, it is hard to tease that out sometimes as we are a somewhat narcissistic species.

Still, it occurred to me that this is what I find is wrong with the Secret. So much of what I believe about magic is that we can use our will to shift the course of the world. But to do so with the point of simply furthering your own gain seems wrong. It also seems that it can throw things out of balance.

Anyway. I'm feeling better, but still tired. I'm going to focus in the next few weeks to be well and ready to sing in my choir concert.

Also, I would be happy if anyone has some extra healing energy to send out to my mom. She goes in for knee replacement surgery on Tuesday morning. I'm sure she'll do just fine and make a quick recovery. :)