Thursday, November 17, 2005

"She's not so special"

Well, it's the end of the week again...thank any god you want! I'm looking forward to my weekend at the Retreat (where, just to remind you, there is a lovely garden with a table and chairs, a jacuzzi bath, and a cat named Kitty). I plan to take flagrant advantage by doing lot's of laundry there - if I time things right with housesitting I may never have to pay for laundry again.

So now comes the time for the weekly feature. Today's guest is, quite simply, my best friend. I do not know how to say enough good things about her. I know that one's work does not define them, but an indication of the kind of mensch that she is is reflected in what she does for a living...she is a crisis counselor/case manager for people with AIDs in San Francisco. It's a job filled with much stress and she does it with aplomb.

So I think I've gushed enough...Here's HippyChick's review of her least favorite movie!

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Hello Spinster’s public! Here is my “worst movie review” of the week.

Talking about my worst movies is a little challenging because mostly I have walked out of them. Some examples:
“The Color of Money” with Tom Cruise – didn’t make it past the first 30 min – bored to tears.
“Scary Movie” – spoof on horror movies – offensive and horrible
“From Hell” – Jack the Ripper movie with Johnny Depp. Although I lust after Johnny, the movie was too disturbing to me to sit through

Also, I was deeply disappointed in “Star Wars Episodes I (Jar Jar – need I say more?) and II” (Hayden Christiansen and Natalie Portman rolling around in a field of flowers – ew). At least in “Episode III” Lucas tied everything up neatly in a bow and Hayden looked way less gay than in Episode II, and therefore more believable that he would be in love with Ms. Portman. “The Ring 2” was scary in that startling way but was really just a rehash of the most excellent “The Ring,” with no new real plot elements.

I think one of the worst movies I’ve even seen was Nell with one of my Hollywood heroines, Jody Foster. I don’t know what on earth caused her to make this movie – her repressed sexual orientation? I can think of no better explanation. Do the words “Chickapay tay-ay in the winnnn” sound familiar? If so then you have also been subjected to this train wreck of a movie. “Feral child” meets kindly Liam Neeson and then has to deal with a doctor who wants to observe her in a lab. Ugh. Okay so she’s not really feral exactly – her mom had a stroke and so she learned to talk like her mom did. This movie was so bad I can’t even remember the ending.

I have a feeling that unlike with Flash and Lordy, most people will agree with me about my choice. For the record, I never saw “Donnie Darko.” I did like “Fight Club” but I think one main reason is that I love Edward Norton. I also thought Helena Bonham Carter was pretty funny. I know, I know, that movie wasn’t intended to be humorous but what can I say? I have a dark sense of humor sometimes. So, any defenders of “Nell” out there care to come out of the closet?

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The last two weeks, I've waited for other people to pop in with their opinions before I'd stated my own, but this week, I must speak up. There are many ways in which HippyChick and I are somewhat interchangeable, this is not one of them. It would be overstating the case to say that I love the movie. But neither do I feel the need to castigate the nummy Jody for taking on this role.

It wasn't a tour de force, but I thought it was well-done for what it was.

Hmmm...I hope we can agree on what we'll rent when we get together after work!

Next week, I'm going to take my turn! I've been writing this review in my head for weeks.

10 comments:

Hippy Chick said...

Wow, that is a shocker! Something that makes us individuals - hee hee. Thanks so much for your kind words, they come just in time at the end of a very long day of constant crisis calls including a mobile one that lasted till about the end of the day. Thank you my friend...looking forward to food and cinema that we can agree on :)

spinsterwitch said...

Well, we don't have to agree on the food, just the cinema.

P'tit-Loup said...

I sorta liked Nell in a sick way, as I am not a big fan of Jodie, unlike the two of you. I'm not sure if it was the woodsy setting, or Liam Neeson, which I think is quite good looking, the fact that I am fascinated by twins, and just the wierdness of the flick, but I was ok with it. Not a big favorite, but worth the two bucks renting fee.

wnurypqh: When Yury peaks? Mildly erotic, no?

the urban fox said...

Her "repressed sexual orientation"? Just because she doesn't talk about it to the press doesn't mean she's 'in'. She ain't.

I haven't seen Nell, but I'm quite fond of old Jodes. She only ever makes the same suspense-y thriller over and over again now though.

Mark said...

who do I ask to write my worst ever movie review?

Lord Bargain said...

I haven't see this either, although I wasn't intending to. And now I am definitely not intending to.

although I categorically agree with you about "Scary Movie" which was utterly dreadful.

red one said...

A good film review has one bang on the nail phrase that really makes you want to go and see the film.

A good "worst movie ever" review has one bang on the nail phrase that will stop you ever going to see the film.

“Feral child” meets kindly Liam Neeson..." Yeah, that's the one that does it. Nice one, HippyChick.

red

Aravis said...

I'm with spin. I actually liked this one, though it will never be a favorite. And as fox points out, at least it wasn't yet another thriller. What's with that? She's a better actress than the roles she's playing lately.

Fred said...

I haven't seen any of the new Star Wars movies. It would have ruined it for me, so I just stayed away. The first three were about passion, the second threee were about money.

Pynchon said...

Re. "Nell". I never saw it either, but it looked to me like it was just a cynical attempt to win Jodie Foster another Best Actress Oscar.