"Though the frost was cruel"

I know it seems strange to bitch about how cold it is when yesterday, I posted a picture of a rose, but I was COLD all day today. I'm finally starting to warm up and that's because I've cranked the heater in my bedroom and shut the door. What sucks is that houses in California were built without decent insulation...even the apartment building I'm in, probably better insulated than other structures, was lot's of places for the heat to escape and cold to come in - the windows, for example, which in the front room don't seal against the frame. I'll be off to the hardware store to get some sealer sometime this week.

So over at Swiss Toni's, there's been a bit of a handwriting contest. We wrote out lyrics of a song, submitted it. Then ST had B1rdie Num Num analyze the writing.

Here was the analysis of my writing:
"No time to waste here! Alas, inconsistent behavior shows that this person flits a bit now and then. Keeps their distance, then jumps right in and takes center stage. No lack of confidence here, though it is sometimes masked as uncertainty. Driven by a need to satisfy material and physical aspects of life, this person is always on the go."

When I was prepping for NaNoWriMo, I pulled out some old creative writing files, most of which had been handwritten in college. It was interesting to find that although it was clearly my writing, it was also somewhat more relaxed...rounder. I think about why my writing looks hurried and I realized that most of the time when I'm writing it's careplans at work during meetings. When I'm forced to write careplans for sometimes 20-30 people quickly.

In other ways the idea that I'm a person that is on the go doesn't really feel true to me, but when I mentioned this to a co-worker she said that she thought because of the activities that I'm involved in, I did seem always on the go. I guess it's a matter of perspective.

I definitely am a person who will sit back and get a lay of the land before jumping in to engage...and, indeed, in a group project or committee, I will avoid a leadership role unless there is clearly a vacuum.

As for my confidence...this representation feels dead-on and it makes me crazy at times. I do have this feeling of confidence, this core belief that I'm doing a good job or am a good person, but a little slip can pull out those older insecurities.

Anyone who wants to make a comment about what they think about all this is free to do so.

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I went to a Tarot Playgroup today, mostly to torture myself with my crush on the owner of the bookstore (who is firmly situated in a monogamous relationship), but I got a good reading out of it too. I got a funky new deck...a fairy oracle. Anyone want a reading? You can post a comment or e-mail me (I did finally activate the "show e-mail" part of my profile...).

I feel like it's finally sinking in that the winter holiday, you know ChrismaHannuKwanzakah, is really sneaking up on us! Tonight I start with my holiday cards.