Wednesday, January 04, 2006

"I'll give you anything, anything, anything"

So, PMS when you are's not good. That's what yesterday was (and today was not). Crazy monkey anxiety, coupled with sobbing. Today, I feel better...not great, but better. And here's what Spins' brain does - it thinks, well maybe you don't need the meds. WTF! Yesterday (just 24 hours ago), I was in the worst emotional/mental place I have ever been in my life, and today I think I'm okay. Give me an inch and I'll think it a mile, obviously.

So the word of today is Zoloft. I think the physician's assistant was more nervous about the discussion than I was, especially when I mentioned I am a therapist. She almost forgot to ask me if I was suicidal. So there it is...let's hope that I don't have to have any "trial and error" to figure out a good chemical mix and this just works like a charm.

So today I was well enough to look beyond my own skin - and here's something that pissed me off...Okay, I just had enough brain power to remember that it's been ticking me off since Monday - you remember Monday. The awful day I had to get out of my house? Well, I went to the store that day...and it's the day after New Year, mind, and what do I see? A display of Valentine Day shit! I have a peeve with "made" holidays, but I have an even bigger peeve with this one. And now to have it start 2 and 1/2 fucking months before it's even here! ARRRRGH!

(NOTE: This is not to discourage any admirers from sending Valentines to me on this day...really I love cards, chocolates and gifts any day...even that one.)

So do you all remember the article that I posted about Innana's descent into the world of the dead? Well, it seems that I was not the only one to have the idea. There's a book by a Jungian analyst called Descent of the Goddess, which I have dutifully ordered from I'm sure it was much more profound than my article, but still it's interesting to see that my ideas have some sort of validation.

Have any of you heard about Tarantino's latest film, The Hostel? Some of you know of my grand dislike of Tarantino. But this one just seems to take the cake. I've only seen the previews and heard the radio clips, but it seems to me so utterly confusing why someone would want to see this film. It's supposed to be terrifying. Why do we need to be terrified, I wonder. I sat last night in a warm bath, in the scariest hour of my life, and somewhere flashed a memory of a voice pleading from that audio clip of the film. And I just thought, there is already so much pain in the world, why do we need to manufacture something like this for the thrill?

Now I'm not one to run from gore - I can watch a battle scene if it is integral to a plot...but why do we create horror? If someone can tell me the purpose, I think I really would like to know. It's a genre of film (well, except for the subset of vampires which are more fantasy than horror in my mind) that I've never been drawn to - never understood.

Okay, that's the randomness of my day.


Hippy Chick said...

hi, it's your interchangeable twin. even us coupled folk often hate valentine's day. i myself was in a rage on NEW YEAR'S DAY when i saw all the valentine's crap and they were STILL playing fucking xmas carols in the movie theater last night (Narnia, we'll talk about it friday but i really liked it, christian blah de blah notwithstanding). and even tho' i am a Tarantino fan at least part time - i will never see reservoir dogs - i totally see no point in Hostel and absolutely no desire to see it. consider yourself validated on both counts :)

Charby said...

Why do we create horror? Same reason we go on roller-coasters I guess, people like than adrenaline rush

Crucifer said...

I'd say that there is a difference between gore and horror...

Horror, to me, is the sort of thing you watch/listen/read during Christmas that scares the pants off you but at the same time keeps you morbidly interested.

You sort of want to know what's going to happen next, even though you know it's not going to be something you like.

Curiosity, I suppose, is such a great influence on the mind.

Gore, on the other hand, is just out and out rubbish, for no other purpose than titillation would be like in the Carry on series. Utterly pointless and a little bit childish.

Alecya Giovanni said...

I *hate* velentines day. designed to make single people feel like crud for being single and couples to feel lik ecrud because they forget to shower gifts on eachother. Nonsense.

Sadly, i like Tarantino. I think he is an interesting film maker. then again, I am not so big a fan I knew about this film. I'll likely wait on reviews..

Hope you're doing alright,

spinsterwitch said...

Crucifer - I think that's a good distinction...and I also think that what I probably have the hardest time stomaching is torture. It disturbs me greatly. That's what this movie evokes.

HC - I'm looking forward to your take on Nania...I can't remember if you read the books or not.

the urban fox said...

I don't like scary films either. Tarantino definitely gets off on gore in a rather unpleasant way, no matter how supposedly ironic and stylized the violence.

Pynchon said...

Why do we create horror? Because it sells...

I don't mind horror films, sometimes. One of my favourite films of the year was a horror film ("The Descent") and that scared the pants off me, but really the genre doesn't matter as long as it has decent acting, story, directing, twists turns and drama, etc.

Mr-Mystic said...

I think Tarrantino is only a producer in this film. He typically does not do Horror unless its humorous. I think that inorder to understand Tarrantino one has to love "B" movies as much as he does. He mostly deals in spoofs, but very few people get it. I have actually researched his films and he has less vilonce in his films than some that get a PG rating. But its the way he presents it. Check out Resevoir Dogs as a perfect example.

But I know he is not to everyones tastes. I still think he's a Genius. Pulp Fiction to me will always be a piece of Pop Americana that few filmakers will be able to equal.

PS. Glad to hear you're feeling better.

beedragon said...

I am glad you are having a better day today and that you were feeling well enough to get pissed off ;) I hope the meds are good to you. I think it's a good sign that you can feel like you don't need them sometimes.

I think that people create horror because horror is a part of life for many people. Maybe it is a way for them to let it out or deal with it.

For the people who watch or read it, it can be a way to have validation that certain feelings exist and that other people have them too. I think it can also be a way to feel some feelings that are too hard or impossible to deal with through memory or reality, but still need to be released even if the release comes through an unrelated story.

Flash said...

I liked your Valentine's disclaimer there Spins!

Though to have valentines thrust at you in the first week of january is tres merde.