So, PMS when you are depressed...it's not good. That's what yesterday was (and today was not). Crazy monkey anxiety, coupled with sobbing. Today, I feel better...not great, but better. And here's what Spins' brain does - it thinks, well maybe you don't need the meds. WTF! Yesterday (just 24 hours ago), I was in the worst emotional/mental place I have ever been in my life, and today I think I'm okay. Give me an inch and I'll think it a mile, obviously.
So the word of today is Zoloft. I think the physician's assistant was more nervous about the discussion than I was, especially when I mentioned I am a therapist. She almost forgot to ask me if I was suicidal. So there it is...let's hope that I don't have to have any "trial and error" to figure out a good chemical mix and this just works like a charm.
So today I was well enough to look beyond my own skin - and here's something that pissed me off...Okay, I just had enough brain power to remember that it's been ticking me off since Monday - you remember Monday. The awful day I had to get out of my house? Well, I went to the store that day...and it's the day after New Year, mind, and what do I see? A display of Valentine Day shit! I have a peeve with "made" holidays, but I have an even bigger peeve with this one. And now to have it start 2 and 1/2 fucking months before it's even here! ARRRRGH!
(NOTE: This is not to discourage any admirers from sending Valentines to me on this day...really I love cards, chocolates and gifts any day...even that one.)
So do you all remember the article that I posted about Innana's descent into the world of the dead? Well, it seems that I was not the only one to have the idea. There's a book by a Jungian analyst called Descent of the Goddess, which I have dutifully ordered from Amazon.com. I'm sure it was much more profound than my article, but still it's interesting to see that my ideas have some sort of validation.
Have any of you heard about Tarantino's latest film, The Hostel? Some of you know of my grand dislike of Tarantino. But this one just seems to take the cake. I've only seen the previews and heard the radio clips, but it seems to me so utterly confusing why someone would want to see this film. It's supposed to be terrifying. Why do we need to be terrified, I wonder. I sat last night in a warm bath, in the scariest hour of my life, and somewhere flashed a memory of a voice pleading from that audio clip of the film. And I just thought, there is already so much pain in the world, why do we need to manufacture something like this for the thrill?
Now I'm not one to run from gore - I can watch a battle scene if it is integral to a plot...but why do we create horror? If someone can tell me the purpose, I think I really would like to know. It's a genre of film (well, except for the subset of vampires which are more fantasy than horror in my mind) that I've never been drawn to - never understood.
Okay, that's the randomness of my day.