I wrote a long post and now I've scrapped it. I'm starting over.
Mystic commented that my lack of lovers must be entirely of my own doing because such a warm hearted good looking person would surely have people interested in them.
I have built boundaries around myself, it is true. Some of them so tall, I could barely see over them to know when someone was interested in me. Some of them so thick that I've felt like the only person in the world.
But, as with any fortress, my defenses have had doors, and sometimes I have thrown them open in welcome. And no one came (no pun intended). And all walls have weakness, and there was never anyone who was interested enough to find them.
I have struggled with this issue for many years. I know that I am not the most forward of women. Indeed some might find me shy. But, while I am not a great charmer or terribly flirtatious, I am at least open to an approach.
I guess I don't know what more to do than what I am...trying to date and meet someone I like and trust enough, but given that I haven't had much luck with that...
And now I find myself sad again. A familiar, but not good place for me to be again.
I still can't connect at the new place (they take so long to switch to a new address), so you all have a good weekend.