Wednesday, March 29, 2006

*sigh*

So last night a wonderful idea for a post came into my head about the insidious and destructive nature of racism. But today...well, I'm finding that it's hard to concentrate on much of anything today.

I'm a bundle of contradictory feelings.

B's husband gets in town today. This pretty much destroys my denial of her imminent departure. It also leaves me anticipating feeling like a third wheel in the apartment...now mine, but used to be theirs. It's a weird feeling. And I feel like I can't really be sad around B because she's so happy to be moving into her new home (and back with her husband).

And then there is the feeling of excitement and anticipation of the trip. I had the sudden need to find my passport last night - even though I knew exactly where it was. I just had to dig it out and look at it. It's amazing how much I look like my mother in my passport photo!

So there I am excited and joyful...and yet beginning to grieve. I'm sure I'll be a joy to be around for the next several days.

3 comments:

Aravis said...

I don't blame you for having these highs and lows. There's a lot going on. I hope the weirdness and sadness won't be too great, but that the joy of the trip will!

hippy chick said...

I'm really sorry that B is leaving for OR, I know she is a great friend of yours and I can imagine feeling strange in your place with hubby there too. Just keep focusing on your very well-deserved and anticipated trip and the next couple days will fly by! :)

P'tit-Loup said...

We'll just all have to make some periodical oregon invasion after she gets settled up there!