Saturday, June 17, 2006

"Let this love cross you over, let this song bid you rest"*

Had dinner with ExecutiveDirector last night and she gave me permission to share her good news with everyone: she is pregnant! She doesn't comment here, but she does read sometimes. She's apparently a bit farther along then she first anticipated and is thinking that it will be a Christmas baby.

It's a bit amusing because her experience then is dovetailing with mine in an odd way. Last week at work seemed to be all about quizzing Spins about her romantic life. One of our RNs was asking about my experience with SlowTalker. She asked where it was going, and my reply was that we were having fun. She expressed surprise and suggested that we should be thinking about something more serious as neither of us was getting younger. When I asked why we needed to be worried about our age, she replied, "Well, kids, of course!" I told her that I wasn't interested in children, and really just wanted to have fun. She was shocked. She said that she had never met any woman who didn't want to have children. Then it was my turn to be shocked. Granted, we are not in the majority, but there are a goodly number of us out there.

I'm just finding this experience of learning about others' beliefs about relationship, and now children, and how they are projected on to me, quite fascinating. It seems that there is a culturally accept script for us and our lives that people have a hard time seeing beyond. It also makes more sense, when viewed this way, how deeply entrenched those people who are trying to protect "the family" are. These ideas are clearly more prevalent as a subtext of the norm, than I was aware.

This, of course, leads me to think about queer issues. No wonder activitists have really moved to pushing the idea of gay marriage, and why some people in the community cringe when the campiest and gayest pictures during Pride celebrations are put in the paper. I love the outrageousness and out-ness of the gay community, and I hate to see it stifled. But, for some who want to tap into cultural acceptance, this is a horror.

Okay, those thoughts aren't going much of anywhere, so I'll stop for this morning.

*This post is dedicated to a sweet cat who will find her rest today: Shiki.


Alecya Giovanni said...

a cursory hello, I am afraid. But I was online and wanted to tell you how much I love you dearly.

And thanks for the note. Its nice when people you love check in on you.And I adore you, of course.


Aravis said...

I have a similar problem Spins. I'm married and everyone expects me to have children. They're shocked to learn that Randy and I don't plan on having any. I'm somehow abnormal in their eyes and must be corrected. It's about that time I get them off my back by telling them one of my theories about child-rearing. For example, I'll say something ridiculous- but with a straight face- like "Children should be tied to trees while the dog runs free." That usually shuts them up. How can they possibly insist I'd be a good mother with an attitude like that? *G*

Hippy Chick said...

Thanks for the sweet dedication. We know you loved her well too.