Wednesday, October 25, 2006

Work

I woke this a.m. and decided to sleep a half hour longer but couldn't. I was thinking about one of my patient's at work. I was thinking about his situation, not because there is a crisis with him, but because what is going on with him will be under so much scrutiny if the outcome of the situation is not in line with what the management of my company wants.

See, I'm a social worker working for a for-profit company in an industry where private insurance pays, but federal and state insurance programs don't. We don't provide different care to the patients because of this, but there is so much pressure to ensure that private insurance is maintained. I hate it. It's not what I wanted to make my first priority when I went into social work, but this job...and particularly this company make it that.

But my dissatisfaction with work right now feels deeper than that. There are all sorts of signs that the company that I work for, while trying to maintain the image of being a superior employer that values it's "teammates," does not care about social work, in general. We are assigned all sorts of clerical work because the administrative hours in our clinics are the first to be cut when there is a budget shortfall. Our hours are cut next...we lost the per diem social worker at our clinic this week because they cut her hours in half and it wasn't enough to keep her with us. We've gotten the direct message from our company that they don't understand what social workers are trained to do (i.e. counseling of patients) and they don't value training us, if we weren't.

And then I learn that one of my new managers is asking our higher up social worker to give me advice about a situation because I asked the manager to act like a manager and set policy and enforce it with a patient. I'm not a manager - especially when I'm pretty much being told that I'm just above the admin assistants on the totem pole - but I'm supposed to be enforcing the clinic rules with patients (even when I also supposed to be acting as their advocate).

And somehow the above situation also leaves me feeling like I'm not a good social worker.

So I've been waking up in the morning feeling like I don't want to go to work, going to work anyway and feeling completely useless and unempowered and afraid that I'm going to be fired or cut-back at any time.

I go from there to my private practice, where I feel like a competent adult with valuable skills.

It's all very confusing and gives me a headache.

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Addendum: This is a direct quote from the SFgate (the SF paper's internet website): "A weakening Tropical Storm Paul swirled just south of Mexico's Baja California peninsula Wednesday, forcing the evacuation of shantytown residents on a stretch of coastline famed for its golf courses and beaches."

Too many thoughts floating around my head about poverty and wealth and tropical storms because of this.

3 comments:

Flash said...

I hate my work.
It does my head in.

Aravis said...

You're not a bad social worker, you just work for a company with poor management skills. Have you given any thought to finding a new position elsewhere to supplement your private practice? A non-profit might be more your thing, though I don't know what the pay scale is. Just a thought, because I like a happy Spinny. I like an unhappy Spinny too, but I'm happier for you when you're happy. *G*

Anonymous said...

Hi babe,

am a social worker too, and I feel the same. I did not come into this job to not work with children and families but it feels like that is what everyone else wants me to do. Keep the faith, remain true to yourself and do good and it will follow you.