Thursday, March 13, 2008

Here are some things I learned last night

That there is a new drug on the market for binding phosphate in people with kidney disease.

That the walnut upside-down cake at Olivetto is phenomenol! (as was pretty much everything else they served us)

That when S is worried about me, he is right there.

That he is committed to processing things, even when I don't want to (could he really be a lesbian?).*

That I know how to do little things that will really hurt and scare him, and that I use that when I am angry. I don't like this about myself.

That, despite how I like to see myself as having different ideas about relationships, sometimes I just want to be "normal."

That S thinks and processes things in a fairly linear manner...concisely, if you will. That I don't...sometimes it feels like my thinking is like an erector set project gone wrong. Especially during times of strong painful emotions.

That he can still make me laugh, even when my sinuses hurt from too much crying.

*If you don't get the lesbian reference, it's okay...

1 comment:

Hyde said...

Maybe it's less scary for him to process because he's so linear. I just want to be "normal" too, but sometimes I wonder if that even exists. It's an impossible standard to hold yourself up against...