Friday, November 07, 2008

Undecided

So I know that most of you will be saddened by this, but I canceled the ad and bid a fond adieu to those that I had be e-mailing. I did this in response to my response of S' response.

See I wasn't feeling justifiably angry or just annoyed. I was feeling bereft. S has not explained whether this is something he can tolerate, he says that he felt a sense of loss. He feels that I will find someone wonderful and not be drawn to be connected with him anymore.

This may be absolutely the case, or it may not be. But the idea of it was too much for me to tolerate. I am not ready.

I had an inkling of this when I first posted the ad. I felt great sadness. And it only increased as time continued to go by.

So there you are.

Tonight SS & I are going out to see a dance production by Big Moves. I'm happy about that and that I'm working slowly on getting my house a little tidier.

3 comments:

red one said...

"I am not ready"

Well you are the best judge of you, Spins, not occasional commentators like me.

as long as you know that even the not-very-regular commentators are wishing you well.

*hug*

shorty said...

Denial?

I want you to be happy as well, I hope you made the right decision and didn't delay what might be the inevitable.

You seem like a very sincere and sensible woman who knows what she wants, the only thing is you don't sound like you are getting it. Something is missing, and it might always be that way. It's tough, I'm guilty of it too.

Take Care

spinsterwitch said...

Hi, red one. Thanks for your wishes. Stop by anytime.

Shorty, I know the direction I'm going, I'm just finding it hard to move very quickly in that direction. I had a friend once call me "the glacier" because I move slowly, but have a huge effect in the process.